Between the two of us, you're the one most likely to endure a series of slights than raise your eyebrow over indignation, lest you risk losing your peers' favor. You do know that you can't win them all, right? And surely you don't expect them to comprehend your anger when you have tacitly agreed to do their bidding without having first expressed your sentiments on the matter, right? You claim your freedom as readily as when you first found it, yet rarely does it ever come to light when you're on the verge of judgment that has anything to do with losing your reputation, as being that "kind and humble woman". If you're angry then blurt it out of your chest, don't play coy as though it doesn't affect your sensibilities!
Aggressors, exploiters, and sycophants will only capitalize on your fear of social rejection to make you kneel on their whim. You see, it doesn't make you any less of a human to voice out your opinion when they infringe your right as a being, any more than they have the right to invoke theirs. The trouble, as it seems to me, is that you are more inclined to feign indifference when in truth you no longer could bear it...
If there is one thing I've learned from that of the seasoned existentialists in our understanding of human freedom is that, we have always within our grasp to choose for ourselves the creation of our masterstrokes: a life lived out in authenticity and harmony with our internal principles without regard for disdain, and to borrow from Kierkegaard, "an idea for which we could live and die for."
Have you not wondered why I chose you? What I'm doing is not a matter of reciprocation of your love in that I do not give a damn whether you repel my advances, for it is solely my decision that I bathe you with my exuberant affection-- " I am fond of you" not because you are fond of me and anything beyond or beneath it, instead, it should be taken as it is -- a choice, that is, a voluntary action with which my initiatives and ambition threads on.
Know that I love you, but sometimes I have the impression that you're too good for your own sake. If I could slap you right now so that you could man up and do what's best for you, then I would. Now, if you truly felt oppressed and abused by these individuals as you claim them to be, then say it as you would to yourself as calmly and reasonably as you can. Tell them how you feel, and that you are not gonna want to comply any time sooner simply because you don't want to. This is a subject of seeming and being, what would you choose? How would you like your life to be?
Forgive my unsolicited advice, do take care, my beloved.
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